Day 13 (Wednesday)

the bad

Even though my schedule is set, my teachers and I still don't have the system down yet, mostly having to do with who's doing what when. Thus, it can be chaotic and discombogulated in the classroom, and I feel like the kids' educational experience is minimal compared to what it should be. It often seems that, given the context of my job, there is so much damn work to do in tracking each of my eighteen kids and their IEP goals, then teaching them at their many and varied subject levels, all at once. It's not like I even have a particularly bad situation or anything--I'm just totally green, and it seems that just when I start to get a handle on how to do some of this stuff, I'll be ready to move away from Las Vegas, as it will be time to move on to grad school or whatever. I don't blame myself for being comparatively dumb, I just feel bad for the kids who have me in charge of their educations instead of some veteran teacher who knows what she's doing, that's all.

the ugly

After school today, Duane threatened a fellow student with her life--with a deadly weapon. So he's been RPC'd (which means the Parents are Required to schedule a Conference before he can get back in, at which point he'll almost certainly be suspended). So he won't be back until at least Wednesday of next week. And even though he won't be causing any problems in my classroom today, I'm far from happy about that. I'm worried that he's slipping away, due to the strange and awful forces which are constantly compelling him to slip no matter how hard I try to keep him on the "straight and narrow." Guess what, everybody: motivation isn't everything. It only serves to get people to do that which they are already capable of doing. With this kid, we need to be giving him tools and skills that enable him to have alternatives that he can choose--alternatives that have been noticeably absent in his worldview so far.

the good

I finally did get my car back today. She's in fine shape, if not slightly miffed that I left her sitting in a random towing lot for two and a half days. Ironically, my girlfriend, who has been kind enough to drive me all over the place over these past few car-less days, had her new used car reposessed by the dealer over a payment miscommunication. So I'll be driving her to school tomorrow, and hopefully she'll be able to get it back in the afternoon.

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